my awakening consciousness

A Bunch of Talk; Opinions about Everything From Mental Illness Stigma to Politics

Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 11:53 am on Friday, June 10, 2016

First of all, let me say this; although I’m bipolar and have my medications regulated pretty well now, I believe that my opinions are still valid. This may sound like a statement of the obvious to the more enlightened segment of the population and/or those with similar issues and diagnoses.

To many others, it probably sounds like a defensive and paranoid opening statement (thereby tainting all that follows) but forgive me;  during recent days I’ve been forced into spending hours at a time in a little hospital room with my siblings – all textbook well-adjusted, model citizens who I love, but who can stand being around such absolute perfection all the time?

We are gathered in this place due to a sudden health crisis (requiring surgery) of our ninety-year old, otherwise obscenely healthy Father and the fact that we are close-knit despite the fact that we are very different types of personalities and live far apart geographically and mentally.

There are five of us “kids” (all in our forties through sixties) Six, if you count my half -sister from Dad’s second marriage. (I usually don’t; her mother – and Dad whenever he was having a tantrum – raised her to believe I’m a piece of garbage.) So I’m really not anxious to get to know her – thank God in heaven she lives far away.

It feels like whenever all of us are together longer than a few minutes, I’m watching “the normal, good, smart people show”. If I say anything or offer an opinion it is ignored most of the time. I can perform simple tasks such as fetch ice or a washcloth for Dad, and I get it right almost every time!

Bipolar and Asperger’s (which I know I have, but cannot afford a diagnosis) does not mean “stupid” or “retarded” or “psychotic”.

I love my family, know it’s mutual and that they don’t consciously think of me this way. Maybe they did during our childhood, when mental illness or “difference” of any kind wasn’t understood and was therefore surrounded by fear, leading to ridicule. These issues were rarely spoken of in any respectful and objective scientific manner.

The few who did were considered almost as weird as the “crazy-ass” people of whom they were speaking.

But I digress. Maybe no one will ever see this or if they do, not really give a shit but it is some stuff I feel strongly about and need to get out. It’s regarding our current political situation in the U.S.

Don’t know why this particular quote set me off, amid so much blood-boiling rhetoric being spewed out in the world, but it did. Maybe it was just the last straw.

Here’s my response to this quote by Fox News Caitlin Jenner:

“Socialism did not build this country. Capitalism did. Free enterprise. The people built it. And they need to be given the opportunity to build it back up”

(My response) Here’s an idea: why don’t we just find something that works, no matter what it’s called, to fix what is clearly not working now? The thing is EVERYONE needs access to opportunity. Perhaps the average citizen would prefer their taxes to be channeled more towards public universities, better, less price gauging health care, and less towards the pockets of corrupt congress members and the lobbyists who own them. No one’s asking for free stuff or other people’s money. They’re asking to have their democracy back; a say in where THEIR money goes and the go-to, tedious mantra of the super wealthy is to say you’re against capitalism and the “free market” and therefore un-American. This “free market” was once a great thing but has mutated like a cancer into a free market for only the top fraction of one percent who’ve managed to accumulate most of the country’s wealth. They can then make the laws, rob us blind, imprison us for profit, poison us as guinea pigs with pharmaceuticals, destroy the planet’s soil, water, air and the food we eat and keep us perpetually enslaved by debt, inhuman wages, shipping all our jobs abroad, or actual prison and we’ll have no recourse. It’s NOT capitalism or free market or democracy when veterans sleep in the streets and working people cannot afford food. It’s a travesty of justice that this was the America these same homeless soldiers believed in and trusted so much they manned up to shed blood for and some sacrificing their young lives. It seems like all just to keep the military industrial complex rich. We should amend this shame and honor them and their memory by standing up and fighting OUR asses off to end this shit now and take our beloved America back. Stop allowing loaded words like socialism to have so much power over us by the ones who are the fear-hate mongers. It’s playing right into their hands. It’s just a word. And the most corrupt of ones saying words like capitalism make that word an obscenity when it used to mean the great pulsing, wonderful heartbeat of this country and now means the blood-sucking of this country. Get up and fucking vote for the one you know is right.



Dammit, I’m writing today!

Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 6:05 pm on Wednesday, June 1, 2016

I keep threatening to write a post every day and don’t know what the hell is wrong with my brain lately. There seem to be no synapses firing. Today is no different except I’m forcing myself to goddamn write anyway. So, since I never seem to have a shortage of things to complain about despite my many blessings, maybe I’ll start out with what’s getting on my last nerve today.

Let’s see… the world. The weather is gorgeous but I really can’t go out in it because my allergies will make it intolerable. It was better when I could afford allergy pills but nowadays, no can do. But the poor chemical and pesticide and whoever else is making the planet uninhabitable for humans, well they have to stay in business! This is more important than anything or anyone else. That’s just a darn shame.

Enough about me and my petty little problems like not being able to afford transportation, adequate health care, medicine, (natural or pharmaceutical overpriced crap) or food or rent – hell, most people here in the good old U. S. of A. are in exactly the same boat….or living in their car. Well, the lucky ones; others live in a “cardboard condo.” Darn shame.

This presidential election was starting to scare the living shit out of me especially when Bernie Sanders seems to be too far behind. Personally, I think he and Elizabeth Warren are the only ones who can save us.

Trump reminds me of a cross between Hitler and Bozo. (Yes – the clown, not the world renown physicist.)

I used to like and admire Hilary before I realized what a slick talking bullshit benefactor of big banking and finance she is and expects us to be stupid enough to believe this in no way influences her policy decisions. Sounds like the utmost logic to me.

Besides her husband’s terrible legacies remain with us, in fact started the ball rolling faster downhill. I feel so guilty for voting for him but I thought anyone is better than a Republican – like Bozo or maybe one of the three stooges. Or that guy walking down the street. Or carpet fuzz.

Wow – what do you know, I can write for eternity when I get on a good political rant!

Just my personal beliefs which may not be the most educated or articulate or even right. I try to remain open-minded and not shut out other people’s thoughts and ideas.

I think we ALL have good ideas and many other valuable things to contribute. Every single life matters. It strikes me as obscene that too many of these potentials are sick, dead or incarcerated only because of money. I wonder how many Einsteins, Mozarts, Hawkings, Pavarottis, Angelous, Tolstoys, Jobs, are rotting away in jails or worse institutions, simply for lack of money.

Help, God. Please.