my awakening consciousness

Holiday Cheer and Some Ranting

Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 1:41 am on Saturday, December 12, 2015

Thanksgiving was 2 weeks ago and it was a really nice one till Dad and Lea started to get a little drunk and do their little drunk obnoxious stuff…it’s the old familiar (and yet now curiously pallid and tedious) dance of cruelty from my childhood…..but just a teensy bit of it; and considering that my sister DID cook a feast like you would not believe…..what the hell am I whining about?

There used to be a time when I’d focus on stuff like that and totally forget the rest of the six hours we spent together. I’m just tired of doing that; I have a family who loves me and would do anything to help me in times of trouble and we’re all very different types of people.  So, like probably every other family in the universe, put us all in a room for too long and we’re gonna have problems, it’s human nature!

I used to take that kind of stuff personally and am glad to have moved past it, you know, for the most part…..

Reminds me of when I met Mark, I’d never been in a long lasting healthy relationship. I thought you were never supposed to fight, nor have the desire spend one minute apart from each other. Wow. How living in the land of make-believe is that?!

Near the beginning of our relationship the two of us went through a spell of about a year (maybe it only seemed that long) when we lived and worked together, even driving to work in the same car….we grew to despise each other, I’m not kidding. You just can’t spend every minute with another person, at least I can’t. You have to have room to be the individual that you are.

So I requested a transfer to a different department, where we never saw each other during the day and we began doing some separate things on weekends and our love endured.

I guess I’m trying to make some kind of point here instead of just pouring out a bunch of stuff from my old drug-addled brain….I guess I’m just trying lately to concentrate on what we as humans share instead of continuously and pettily focusing on our differences, specifically how fucked up everyone else is!!


So happy holidays all you fellow dysfunctional, immensely loving families and all you wonderful, awesome, bone-headed fellow humans out there….let the love prevail despite the fact we’re all flawed.






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