my awakening consciousness

Just a Day

Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 5:31 pm on Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Recently I turned fifty five years old. I’m completely starting over in an unfamiliar world after having been kind of a (self-imposed) hermit for the last 25 years or so. But then my husband became very ill and died in just a few months.

It’s terrifying most of the time, but occasionally liberating.

Am trying to write every day because it’s my only potential skill, and I love doing it, especially when I’m in the “zone” – ideas and words flowing wonderfully, effortlessly…..but the zone eludes me these days.

Feel lonely and yet afraid to connect but know it’s a human need, an absolute requirement to be connected with other humans, with life.

I have a great idea for a novel but feel guilty working on it because I have to find a way for my writing to become a more immediate stream of income. I want to stop being a burden on others and feeling so useless and worthless in the world.

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