my awakening consciousness


Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 9:43 pm on Friday, December 14, 2007

ok, i knew this every day thing was never going to work. i’m just not that organized or sane, especially now with half a dozen major crises going on in my life. i’m working through all this with no money, no job, and no doctor, with my brain chemicals being all mixed up like a friggin serotonin-dopamine frappe! a synaptic smoothie with norepinephrine sprinkles. i could go on with the psycho stuff here but i’ll spare you; i think you get the picture. started off last week feeling good. one day it lasted. then two days of horrific crazyland followed by the news that my husband has cancer. since then i’ve no time to analyze how the meds are making me feel because well…i just don’t care! i’d tell my family but they’d forbid me to be sad, the robots! i always feel like i have to be cheerful for everyone, like i’m letting them down, no, committing some atrocious sin if i’m less than cheery. i suspect they’re going to be facing some disappointment sometime soon. oh well. that falls into the category of “THEIR PROBLEM”
i actually feel much better now. oh, and i’ll be writing again….whenever i feel like it.

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