my awakening consciousness

day 3 – emotional botox

Filed under: daylilies — waterlily at 4:30 pm on Sunday, December 2, 2007

don’t know if it’s the meds, or lack of sleep, or shock induced by mental and physical anguish but i feel NOTHING. i think i could watch my own hair catch fire and actually be bored. ok, occasionally i experience 10 seconds or so of extreme rage at a piece of carpet fuzz on the kitchen table or a difficult-to-open jar or something equally important. this is definitely not cool, man. i feel like those heavily botoxed idiots look! to make the day complete, in one of these micro-fits of mad I leaned over to pick something up off the floor (i live with 3 males, 2 feline, 1 human – i’m ALWAYS picking stuff up off the !#$% floor) and straighten up too fast because i always get real fast when mad and slam my upper back into the sharp overhanging corner of a piece of furniture. it knocks the breath right out of me and leaves a big gash by my shoulder blade and lots of black and blue. i feel the nerve pain all the way up my neck and halfway down my arm. so, that about sums up my day. you will pardon me if i’m not a little ray of sparkly, merry sunshine?!

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